Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thank you for calling time and temperature

It was cold this morning. No...I mean REALLY cold. I met up with a friend at the Laughing Goat coffee shop before work. He told me that he'd just called time and temperature earlier and it said that it was only 4 degrees!That was his point--that it was only 4 degrees. That's REALLY cold. But I replayed his words to make sure I heard him right. "You called time and temperature?" I asked, incredulously. "Sure," he said. "No kidding?!" I said. He didn't get the significance. Thing is, I couldn't believe that was still around. When I was a little kid, my mom used to use the time and temperature line as a bribe: "If you're good, I'll let you dial time and temperature." A cheap strategy, but one that didn't cost her a dime and, for a single parent, was an easy motivation and diversion.

In my hometown, my aunt Effie used to supply the voice to the recording. That made her kind of a local hero, supplying all sorts of dinner conversation. Being pretty naive and a bit given to the surreal, I used to think she just sat there in this little telephone booth all day. The phone would ring, she would dutifully check the clock and the thermometer on the wall then answer the phone in her perky little voice, giving the caller all the pertinent details. I used to wonder why she never said "You're welcome, Clint" or "Hey, saw your mom at JCPenney yesterday," but I just guessed she was the meteorological equivalent of those British soldiers who aren't allowed to talk, the ones who stand in front of Buckingham Palace. She was like that, but without the big furry hat. I don't think she wore a furry hat. After a while, I stopped trying to talk back to her, and just appreciated her filial restraint, and devotion to the process.

So, my friend gave me the number this morning (303/443-1910, by the way). I'm going to save it in my cell phone under "Comfortable Things That Mostly Stay the Same", if that'll fit. I'll call it on days I need a centering, to remember that some things do stay the same...sort of.

"Thank you for calling time and temperature, sponsored by First National Bank of Brownwood. The time now is---7:02 a.m.---The temperature is---4---degrees Fahrenheit. Have a good day and remember-for all your banking needs, choose First National Bank--the people's bank."

Thanks, Aunt Effie. Nice hat.

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