OK, fine...

OK, fine...

So, pirating on a reservoir brings with it its own set of problems, as I've found. I am, however, actually being able to provide food for my family in the form of a variety of sandwiches, Little Debbie snacks, Capri-Sun and other high fructose sugar fruit drinks, but I've not been able to pirate many things of financial value, pawnable resources or gold dabloom, for that matter. Not being a prideful man, er pirate, I've decided I need a very specific type of career consultant if this is going to measure up to my--admittedly high--expectations.