Buying Dinner with Friends

While visiting my friends in Dallas last weekend, there was one setting in which I realized I was truly among an adult group, (though I never thought I'd say that about this particular group). During dinners out, at some point, one person would wave their hand, rise from their seat, or make some other important gesture and announce that "It's on me" or "I'll take care of dinner". This is a statement of (at least the benefactor's) apparent arrival at adulthood. For this is what adults do, the having of serious phone conversations, the owning of homes, the buying of their friends' dinners. This act is interesting on a number of levels.

In one way, it is a statement of financial arrival. "I have the means through which to purchase not only my meal, but yours, and I will do so." A declaration of blessing and security spread out before us on the table.

It is also at once a fulfillment of the American need for immediate gratification: "The unsavory portion of this meal is no longer my responsibility. I can relax and enjoy my coffee" and a meditation in denying it, a certain fasting against such a mindset, as it also infers the benevolent expectation of happy reciprocity at some point in the future.

Finally, buying dinner proclaims a strong sense of permanence regarding the people involved. I think that's my favorite part of it. In many cultures today, sharing a meal is a declaration of deep trust and friendship. Not so true in the United States of our Americas, but I'd like to be an agent of change regarding that. As soon as I get some money.

Thanks to all you who bought my dinner last weekend. Your time is coming. All things to those who wait...